Football, football, football…

It is about this time of year when football fans retreat from the terraces in mourning for the end of another season. Wives, girlfriends and sympathisers are at pains to point out that the European Championship are on the brink of starting, that in less than a month there will be chatter of pre-season and that in any case it is a good opportunity to talk about something else anyway.

So what is it that football fans actually do then, during this briefest of gaps in their annual calendar? Landscape the garden? Paint the bathroom? Visit the relatives in Yorkshire?

Not in the least. Unfortunately for their long suffering intimates, football fans much like leopards find it difficult to shrug off their spots. Filling the vacuum is that wonderful pastime of fans and commentators alike – speculation.

Ronaldinho to Manchester City? Barry to Liverpool? Pele returning for Preston? Chelsea to spend seventy million? Speculation like this whirs around offices, homes and public houses across the country, causing excitement, consternation and despair in equal measure.

An anxious Arsenal fan sitting opposite me is worrying himself with the latest developments, as the top European teams peck away at Wenger’s young squad with the appetite of a gluttonous vulture; meanwhile Manchester United supporters simmer with quiet anger about reports that Christiano Ronaldo is about to be carted off to Madrid – leading to their manager Alex Ferguson bringing up references to General Franco.

Inventive titles have been dreamt up by editors about the country: rumour mills, transfer talk, transfer sagas. And throughout May, June and July each of these will be whizzing in top gear.

End of the football season, yes. But there is no escape from the action.

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