Traditionalist Marie Kemplay explores why you should cook from the heart not from the telly…

The nadir of festive Christmas cooking programmes is Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen, the premise that this programme is somehow meant to make Christmas easier and less stressful is pretty amusing. Anybody who measures up their cooking experience to Nigella simultaneously drinking lethal festive concoctions, entertaining 10 guests, talking to a camera oh and roasting a whole dinner is probably going to be disappointed.

I was always of the mistaken belief that Christmas was the one time of year you could stick to the time old favourite of a good old fashioned roast, but watch this programme and you’re left with the impression that unless your larder (not that I even have one of those) is packed with homemade mince pies and lamb tagines and your friends will all be receiving jars of beetroot and ginger chutney, well quite frankly your attempts at Christmas are just not good enough, Nigella is Christmas, apparently. Her tyranny even continues after the big day, she says and I quote ‘You haven’t had a leftover turkey sandwich worth its name until you’ve had my chilli jelly with it’. I beg to differ, come boxing day I will be having many a leftover turkey sandwich and a bit of cranberry is always good enough for me.

This programme is clearly not aimed at people like me who have no ambition to make Michelin star roast potatoes, it’s for people who have enough time to do a bit extra and enjoy laughing along with Nigella as her little jokes demonstrate how much like the rest of us she is, oh ho ho Nigella I can’t believe you used canned lychees, you sly old dog.

I may be archaic in my interpretation of Christmas but I always thought it was a family affair, not so much about overly fancy food dishes as a simple yet hugely satisfying meal that brings everybody to the table. I personally can’t think of anything worse than going around to my aunt and uncles’ and finding Nigella’s fare on the table. You can see it now, thousands of families up and down the country eating the same gentrified roast, no individuality or sense of tradition. I really rather enjoy my family’s Christmas dinner, with its own little quirks that have developed over the years, just simple things like sausages cooked inside the turkey. I would be loath to throw out years of successful roasting to fit in with Christmas 2008 cooking fashions, because we all know come Christmas 2009 Nigella will have wearied of christmas pudding bonbons and the new fad will be pomegranate and chilli salmon, or roast quail topped with chocolate angels.

I don’t begrudge Nigella, I’ll even admit to using a couple of her recipes what I dislike is the self satisfied tone, ‘oh it’s a moment’s work’; maybe for you Nigella, but for the rest of us it’s hours in the supermarket searching for obscure ingredients like buttermilk and crème de lychee or cider vinegar, then there’s the piles of washing up that somehow appears from producing one ‘simple’ dish.

I’m going to be incredibly bold and say something bordering on the quite frankly unbelievable: you don’t need Nigella to have a good Christmas. And I hate to say something horribly crass, but surely the stress free way to enjoy Christmas is maybe just to buy those mince pies, just a thought?

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Image Credit: CielChen

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