Marie Kemplay laments a downturn in silly television to accompany the economy

I always have such fun explaining to my boyfriend that while I think Clarkson (I don’t need to mention his first name) is a fool, I find him hugely entertaining, whereas my boyfriend just thinks he’s a fool. So I’m gutted to learn that that the Top Gear budget for the next series is being cut to the extent it will visibly affect show quality.

What? No more pointless explosions!?! I completely accept that Top Gear is frivolity in excelsis but my God I certainly need a bit of frivolity with Robert Peston beckoning the apocalypse at every turn. My recommendation to anybody who does not enjoy Top Gear is simply to mute it and allow the pictures to speak for themselves. Or failing that to consume a few glasses of wine, upon which you’ll be transported to a state of uncontrollable giggling.

Nobody can even remotely claim the programme is about seriously road testing cars anymore, we’re talking the most outlandish stunts you can possibly get. Take the other night where they had to cross from one end of Vietnam to the other on scooters. Not only is this pretty ridiculous in itself, considering Vietnam is 1,650km long, but they then proceeded to start attaching large objects to their scooters like model galleons and paintings. Then they had to convert them into amphibious craft and ‘sail’ across Ha Long Bay to their final destination. Ridiculous, but, quite frankly, equally brilliant.

But all is not lost Top Gear’s executive producer, Andy Wilman wrote on a Top Gear Fansite that they have a plan for combating the budget cut: “Basically instead of trimming back a little bit on every show – losing a helicopter here or a truck crash there – we’ll endeavour to make 13 of our 14 shows as per the usual Jerry Bruckheimer standard, and then the last one, when we only have a tenner left, will be utter, utter sh*te.” Hey maybe the final episode may see them actually return to the shows roots and actually seriously test some cars. Although it may not be as funny, I’m sure serious road buffs would like it.

But all of this got me thinking, how will other shows start to be affected? Strictly Recession Come Dancing? No sequins? Gavin and Stacy will have to stop hopping between Essex and Wales and just pick one or the other. Maybe all the news studios will have to sell their vast stockpiles of glass and plasma screens and go back to their plywood-esque desks that look like they’ve been stuck together with tape. I realise I’m not treating this issue with the gravity it deserves but seriously where will it end? Producers surely know that if they keep cutting budgets programming will become so dull and unimpressive that viewers will simply stop watching, eliminating the whole raison d’etre of TV programmes in the first place. The BBC is already slashing its programming budget by as much as 30 per cent in some areas after admitting it is facing a $293 million funding shortfall caused by inflation and rocketing utility bills, and it’s likely other broadcasters are facing the same predicament.

This may sound flippant but on a serious note maybe much like the universe (bear with me) after the big bang of digital television maybe the number of digital channels will stop growing exponentially and as revenues dwindle we will see the number of channels contracting until once again we are left with a few good ‘quality’ channels and the rest showing either garbage or just repeats? We’ll see in a few years. Personally, I wouldn’t really miss the vast majority of the hundreds of channels, I hardly ever venture out of the mainstream channels except to occasionally watch repeats of Top Gear on Dave, something I’ll be forced to do more often post-budget cut if I want my fill of pointless explosions.

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Image Credit: Podknox

Tags: Digital TV //